🎾 Get on the court: A landmark forum and breakthroughs webinar reflection exercise

Getting to the source of when your breakdown actually happened.

Giving up going to what is familiar to resolve the breakdown.

Going to the unfamiliar (possibility) to deal with what is happening in the present.

a loss of power, or

a loss of freedom, or

a loss of self-expression.

We choose to look good. We choose to not look bad.

We are always listening to what we want to hear. We listen to ourselves. We don’t hear. We play preconceived conversations about what someone might say. It’s unlikely those conversations will ever play out. We waste time having those imaginary conversations in our head.

Our brains are always tied to worry and to a desire to “fix” everything.

Be straight with yourself about the impact of your inauthentic way of being and acting. Consider the impact of going through life continually having to pretend it is one way, when in fact it is not.

In areas of my life where I lack power, freedom, or self-expression, what can I acknowledge about how I am being that it is inauthentic in that area of my life?

What happened vs the story about what happened. It’s the story about what happened that dominates our way of being. What actually happened isn’t what we see or feel happened. The facts are ignored by the story.

You have to complete the past to focus on the present. This means having conversations you have likely chosen not to have.

We create meaning in the world because inherently there is no official meaning.

Be on the court not in the stands.

Taking action doesn’t always mean having conversations that are difficult. It just means taking courageous action.

Not getting it is ok. If I get it, cool. If I don’t, cool.

I choose to be me and not what someone else wants me to be.

Honouring your word and keeping your promises. You don’t have any say over anything else. It’s all about your word.

We are all fundamentally concerned with what shouldn’t be.

We already and always have a concern for being human. We start with what’s wrong. We have a concern for looking good and a concern for making it.

What’s missing is a concern for what’s possible. This isn’t typically an inherent concern. You don’t wake up with a concern for what’s possible and what could be a breakthrough. There’s the opportunity and possibility.

I create the possibility of being brave and this is what I took on.

I create the possibility of being disciplined and this is what I took on.

I create the possibility of being bold and brave and unstoppable.

I can choose to keep doing the same thing or do something different.

I create the possibility of being calm, consistent, loving, helpful, bold, courageous.

When you are COMPLETE, nothing is missing. It is not the same as being FINISHED.

“Completion” is starting now. Completion and breakthroughs are intimately related. Wherever you have had the experience of finding it difficult to create a new possibility for the future, consider that you have been INCOMPLETE in some way. Completion creates EMPTINESS which creates a clearing for the new possibility.

Don’t try to build a future on top of something. It has to be a new future nothing. Don’t waste your time building a whole load of something.

Create the future from the future instead of creating the future from the past.

Continue to speculate on and invent new possibilities for yourself and your life that impact who you are being in the present, leaving you moved, touched, and inspired by those possibilities.

Instead of going to the past, you go to a possibility in the present reality where the present reality is now living inside of a possibility.

New possibilities create meaning from the future.

Be unreasonable to expand your possibilities. Surprise and Delight yourself.

The possibility is now. The past doesn’t actually matter, as much as we think it does.

The more one’s environment supports one’s goals, the easier it will be to accomplish those goals.

Hi Simon,

Yes, I know you’re writing a letter to yourself and that’s weird. But why not give it a go!?

What I came to The Landmark Forum to accomplish is to find some meaning in my life. To set myself free from my risk-averse full of worry life. Let’s face it, your brain’s a mess yet out front you pretend everything’s ok – even though you’ve started to get better about sharing with others.

What I am actually accomplishing is a huge realisation that the reality of life is a manifestation of realities I’ve created. And those realities aren’t real. And I’m ok with that.

The possibility that I’ve invented for myself and my life is the possibility of being authentic in my interactions with other human beings. To be straight up. To not have an agenda. To just accept another person for who they are without judgment or some kind of “let’s fix them” or other goal. The possibility is to share my unconditional love with others. If that inspires them into action then that’s amazing.

I regret that I’ve not been able to be acknowledge my strengths already in human connection and my fear of looking or saying something stupid, has held me back. I’ve also held myself back because I compare myself to those who appear amazing and natural at human connection. How weird is that! Surely I should be inspired by them. I’m actually good at connecting with people and I commit to acknowledging that without belittling it. I realise that being my authentic self is when it inspires myself and anyone else.

I ask that you listen to yourself and your conviction. In return I offer you limitless possibilities. You can inspire, you do inspire so go do it, you dickhead! It doesn’t matter if someone – or you – thinks you’re a hippy or bonkers. Life is short and precious. Go inspire!

Simon

“I totally get that. What else? I can get that.

Anything else? What else? I can see that’s your perspective.”

“It occurs just to me that you appear angry.”

“It occurs just to me that you seem upset.”

“It occurs only to me that you seem…. <thing>”

“It occurs to me from time to time.”

“You’re doing great. Let’s acknowledge this person. Take your time.”

“Anything else? What else? I can see that’s your perspective.”

I’ve been pretending that … <thing>. When actually I’ve wanted to… <other thing>. The impact of me acting like this is that I’m missing a sense of … <impact>. So instead I’m going to create the possibility of … <possibility>.

Example shared with one of my brothers: I’ve been pretending that I don’t want your advice. When actually I could do with your advice. The impact is that I’m missing a sense of fulfilment from your knowledge and the joy you get from sharing your older brother wisdom. I create the possibility to ask for your help more often.

“I need to know what is missing in our relationship that you can’t trust me.”

“I am being unreasonable. I know that. I realise that. It’s worth me interrupting you and being unreasonable for a life we can choose to have.”

“I care about you enough to risk this.”

“Ok. I’ve heard all of that. Can we have a real conversation? Is it possible your life could be this way. But I’m not backing down because of your future. Our future. And I’ll fight for it.”

“Come on. Let’s go. It’s time to get you your future.”